I dreamt last night that did something heroic (I don't remember what), and when I was asked what I wanted as a reward, I said I wanted to join the Air Force. They let me, despite my age, and even though it was really hard keeping up with the kids, I was hanging in and it was going well--until I was falsely accused of stealing.
I kept protesting, "WHY would I ever do that?! This is something I have wanted for YEARS, why would I ever risk screwing it up?!"
The dream never got a chance to resolve itself, thanks to being awakened by a certain stupid cat kneading on my arm with her sharp little claws.
What do you suppose that one means, Freud? I get something good in my life, something I've wanted for a long time, and I can't help but fuck it up? Or it won't last without getting fucked up, regardless of how I try?
Or maybe my brain just goes the extra mile to entertain me with random shit when I drink a bunch of red wine and pass out. :-)